An Introduction

Hey guys! So this is my blog, I guess... You can call me Bean, because I'd rather not give out my real name. Keep in mind that others I talk about may be abbreviated with letters (B or A) or a fake name (for example, Justin). 

So let me give you guys a bit of info on me. I'm still in high school, and I'm a girl. I love my family, cats, video games, soda, books, reading,writing, and singing... I'm pretty lazy, I call myself the "lazy perfectionist". This is because I always want myself to be perfect and I always want to do the best, but I'm too lazy to achieve those wants haha.

I have bad anxiety, most of it is OCD (purely obsessional). My last summer actually went really horrible. I was already depressed, because I had a bad last few years. I never knew I had OCD, although I was very nervous about things such as choking, breathing, etc. I always knew they were weird, but I assumed it was just anxiety. 

Additionally, I was very addicted to something called anime. It was basically my saving grace, although it really wasn't because it took control of my entire life. Don't get me wrong, I gladly allowed it. Let me just say that I've seen some things I shouldn't have seen..

I basically had a breakdown and was very depressed and my OCD skyrocketed. Thankfully, I pulled through it, and I'm much better now. Although I still have OCD, it's not as bad as it used to be. I can manage it better, although I still often let it get the better of me.

Despite my anxiety issues, though, I'm pretty much normal. I'm very quiet in school (because I'm nervous to speak out), but when you get to know me I'm actually pretty loud. I can be a bit of an airhead sometimes. I like to be kind to others, though I playfully pick on my friends a bit. I make a lot of jokes that I probably shouldn't... Haha. 

I have trouble making friends because I never know what to say. So I usually go to those who have a lot to say, and monopolize the conversation. Then I flourish and start speaking up more, I guess.

Also, I may talk a lot about boys. This is because I constantly get crushes on guys, and it kinda blows out of proportion. Like I really want to date them, and I keep hoping they like me back. I know this may sound normal, but I often worry that it isn't.

Now, onto other things- how about family? My mother and I are extremely close. She is really sweet, funny, and caring. She's the one who got me through my depression, and I love her dearly. My brother and I get along well, but we fight often over stupid stuff, and I can't really go to him for anything. He's not big on giving advice.

And my dad... Well, we're not really close at all. Mostly because he's an ass to my mom and doesn't treat her good. Also, he's very immature and self-centered. I know I need to respect my parents, and I do. But I strongly believe that when someone's being a jerk, they need to be called out on it. Maybe I'll talk about him some more later on, but I may not for privacy reasons.

Anyhow, I'm also very interested in any of you reading this. What are you guys like? What was your biggest struggle, and how have you grown stronger because of it? What are your favorite things to do/hobbies?

-Bean