Past Obsessions

Last summer, I had to give up something that was my whole world; it's all I loved, and it was my sanity, my saving grace. That, ladies and gentlemen, was anime.

I'm sure a lot of you have heard of it, since it's very possible. In fact, a lot of my friends like it. And when they talk about it, I miss it like hell. It was my whole entire life for a few years, because I was so lonely. I had no meaningful friendships, and was absolutely addicted to it.

However, I hid it from others. My family didn't know how bad it was, or some of the things I'd come across. Anime is innocent, but some people make it not so pure. My mother had no clue that it was all I thought of and looked forward to. She has no idea it was my coping mechanism to deal with heart ache, loneliness, and my unknown OCD and anxiety.

There was one show I was really hooked on and loved it with all my heart. I often wonder if it's still running, how the manga is going, etc. But I know if I got back into anime, I could never get off of it. And it would bring back some bad memories... Even if I didn't get addicted to it again, I'd constantly be worrying that I was too addicted.

So I removed it from my life- I had to. Last summer, my OCD was so bad that all it was doing was helping it spiral out of control. It wasn't anime's fault, it just had some factors that my condition took out of control.



Don't get me wrong- I miss anime like hell. It was a lot of fun, and is a great thing if you're not addicted like I was. However, I realize it was and still would be unhealthy for me. It's like going back to a bad relationship; the person might not be horrible, but the situation is.

I always wanna log into my old accounts and see where everything has gone. I want to rewatch my old favorite series. But I can't. And I know it's the best thing for me to stay away from it.

And now I am finally living life a bit more, hanging out with people. I'm much less depressed.

Sorry for this "deep" post, haha. I promise I'll post more happier stuff. I just had to get this off my chest. And please don't take offense to this post. I'm just saying it's unhealthy for me. I would never insult you for liking it, and if you do, that's awesome! Have fun       with it :).

-Bean