Is Popularity Even Worth It?

When you're still in school, it goes either of two ways; either you're popular, or you're not. Even if you are one of those whom is friendly with both sides, you still lean to one more than the other. For me, I was on the unpopular side. To be honest, I don't even know how it all started- all I remember is that the popular group wouldn't talk to me in around 3rd grade. Now, I have not the slightest clue why. Maybe I was an absolutely annoying little kid, or they just didn't like me/didn't want to talk to me. But either way, this shaped my future. It made me a more quiet type of person, one that panics at the thought of talking to others. It's not necessarily their fault, but the whole things sure influenced who I am.

I used to desperately wish I was popular- that maybe I was rich, was really pretty, and could talk to everyone and everyone I wanted. As I got older, I wished I could go to their parties and do whatever they do. Maybe I could even date a popular boy. But, as I'm enjoying the summer leading up to 10th grade, I've been beginning to wonder if being popular is really all that peachy. There must be downsides, for sure. I mean, there's obvious downfalls to being unpopular- you're disliked by the cooler kids, you're viewed as either weird or boring, and you'll never live up to their standards. However, by being a bit of an outcast, you can show who you really are, regardless of if you'll be accepted or not. You'll still stay in that spectrum of popularity (or lack of). There will be much less drama, competition, and standards to actually live up to. Even if you feel you're inadequate, it's extremely hard to gain popularity at this age unless you're a new kid, or you become unbelievably sexy over the summer. So why not just be yourself? You won't have to worry about being fashionable, being stick-thin, having all the latest things. You'll find people that will accept you for who you are... Well, hopefully.

Over the years, I've begun to notice that popularity has a lot of flaws to it. I see the way it affects girls. Most of them act like they're full of themselves, meanwhile they're as insecure as we are. There's always a prettier girl, and if you are that pretty girl, you're secretly hated for it. Some girls even have to be whores to maintain their spot in the popularity role. When you really think about it, it's actually extremely ridiculous. All popularity is, is a competition for who's cooler, who's better looking, who has more money, etc.

So why do we fall into the loop of wishing we were cooler, and feeling insecure for the fact that these people do not think we are? I believe it's because we are either told or tell ourselves that we are not good enough, and that one of the easier ways to be better is to climb up the social rank. We're always lusting after the thought, however most of us believe we cannot join the ranks of those people. So we just stay insecure and stick to our spots on the lower ranks, wishing we could be something we believe we could not be.

This thing, popularity, affected me so much that I could barely even speak to others. I'm a decent looking girl, and I thought I was absolutely ugly. I thought I was weird because I was not girly at the time, and was into more boyish things. So, I believed I had a reason to be disliked, or at the very least avoided. Now, I've begun to realize that people think I have put up walls and I don't want to talk to them. I mean, some I don't wanna speak to, but most I want to be with at least friendly terms with. I'd rather have no enemies.

I was always desperate to appease everyone, I didn't want anybody to dislike me. Now, I'm beginning to talk more, and just be myself. I'm even wearing girly clothes because, hell, I can be girly if I want. To hell with popularity, it's not even worth it. All it is, is something to worry more about. At least, that's how I see it. Besides, most of the more "cooler" girls admit that none of their friends are true. Yet they kiss their ass majorly whenever they see them. It makes no sense, but it doesn't. How will they be defined, who will they be, if they are not popular? And on the flip side, how will one be defined, who will they be, if they become popular? They won't be an outcast. But who exactly will they be then?

What I suggest is, just be yourself. Who cares who accepts you or not- the ones that are worth your time will accept you, be there for you, and give you companionship. And I know I'm a hypocrite for saying these things, because I won't follow my own advice. However, maybe the more I say it, the more likely I'll be to follow it in the future. Maybe I'll say things when I want to.

Perhaps people will come to like me more, because my mouth won't always be shut.

-Bean