random poem

Used to wallow in my misery, lack of confidence,
Always would throw the towel in, let them win,
I would get knocked down to the ground, and allow it.
Now I stand up from there, knees bloodied and scraped,
Arising with a small grin on my face.

Love for life is growing, blooming from the stems of
My heart. It all depends on how you view life,
See it as a bad thing, and you feel it is horrible-
Look at is as if it were precious, and every memory
Is made to feel that way.

And I still hold hope in my heart to find more people
Worthy of my time- perhaps I have, and I haven't realized
That they are yet. But now I worry less about that, I need to
Focus on myself more, not friendships that will not last long.
Pursue my dreams, become who I want to be.

I always had a sense of humor- now I use it at my worst moments.
Better to laugh at the face of death than to fall to your knees and pray,
I suppose. I'd rather make light of dreary situation than feel more entwined,
Confined by the cutting ropes of thoughts unable to decipher. Better to count
The petals on the rose than to let the prickles make you bleed.

A strong urge to help others, I pursue this feeling. I wish to be an
Inspiration to others. I know that's a far away thought- I have lots of
Flaws, but I'm working on them, accepting them, letting them show.
I want to be a light to other people, someone they can reach out to.
I want the better part of me to shine through, rather than the shy,
Unapproachable version of me.

Yes, there is a loud part of me- it's in my caliber. I have a loud, booming laugh,
A twisted sense of humor to match. The flow of music calms me to sleep,
Or inspires me to keep going. A stroke of a paint brush, the sip of rich tea,
It's all a part of me. I want the real me to reach out and touch others, regardless
Of if they like it or not.

I guess, deep down, I just want people to know who I really am.
I'm not that dead silent girl in the back of the classroom. I'm full of personality.
I love to laugh, I love to love, I love to live. I worry far more than I should,
I say things I really shouldn't. But that's all a part of me. And you're allowed
To dislike that.