Giving up

I'm so, so beyond tired of the area I live in. Everyone is a joke. It's so frustrating. There's no such thing as a "real friend" in this town. Almost everyone is stuck up, popular and degrading, and if they aren't they're usually bat shit insane. It's extremely tiring, searching for a good friend in this area...

Every time I've made a good friend, they always hurt me. Always screw me over, dump me and move onto the next. It's made me not wanna get close to others again, but in the same breath, I'm so lonely that I am always craving a good friendship. To have someone recognize my existence and, holy crap, care about me.

I mean, I have a great family. They all care about me. But in school, I'm looked at as "weird". As an "outsider". And considering being tight with a girl here is basically suicide. Almost all of them back stab you, when you don't even expect it. Like that boy and you tell her? Bang! She goes after him, of all boys.

I guess I'm just, I don't know... Upset, and tired of all this?? I'm really, really tired of others acting like they don't see me. I'm not horrible looking, nor am I creepy- I just don't talk too much! Is that really that scary? Or is it just because I'm not rich, or try hard, or I just don't like all the things you do?

I feel like I'll never fit in. That they all will think I'm too strange. But my mom said, you have two ways of reacting to this- you get angry at them, or down on yourself. And she said I should rather be angry at them, and realize that I am a good person and worthy of a human being's respect and attention... And to just think that they're the weird ones.