It seems like when I don't have a guy to obsess over I go back to obsessing over fictional relationships. Maybe I'm too into relationships or I'm just a teenager with amazingly crazy hormones. But I'm really nervous that I'm like this. Maybe because of the fact that i have no actual friendships that are substantial, I only know friendships and meaningful relationships through dating? I don't know, I'm just so confused. Its like always need something to focus on/obsess about. Probably my OCD.
And I really miss anime sometimes. I know it was toxic and unhealthy for me but some days I just... Gosh I crave it. I miss going crazy over that one show. And I know I didn't really love life because I let it consume my life but I miss it being my entire life... I miss the art and talking with other fans. I miss the stories and characters. Most of all, though, I miss it being always in my thoughts, blocking out all the bad and the tough to things.
But what sucks is that I KNOW I can't go back to it. It'll become unhealthy. It's also not right for me, especially since I'm now so sensitive to graphic/violent things. Plus some of it I shouldn't had seen.
And even if I could go back, it just... Wouldn't be the same.
I agree...I'm always reading/watching other people relationship and fangirling over it. And my social life is a straight line.
ReplyDeleteDaisy l LittleKawaiiDaisy
Don't worry. My love life is worse than yours because it's non-existent. I don't date, and I've never had a boyfriend. Why have a real boyfriend if you can have perfect fictional ones from books, right? If you count all my fictional boyfriends, I'll probably have a pretty good love life. I'm currently obsessing about Er Lang from the book called Ghost Bride.
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